It strikes me that every time I've had a wild supernatural experience, a great time of worship, or just that Spirit-induced joy of being with other in the Lord, it has come at a time where my awareness of God's love for me, independent of my actions or merits, has been high.

In other words, I'm able to respond to his love.

Of course God's love isn't dependent on my response. But I am unable to receive a package when my hands are full-- to paraphrase C.S. Lewis. The verse in 1 John, "we love because he first loved us," becomes much more practical and in-focus when I understand this. God's pursuit of me is that soil out of which my love springs. The "worship was great today" compliment is put into perspective-- God found a way in, through our narcissism and disquieted hyper-activity. We let our guard down. We left a chink in the armor. We decided that we needed to simply receive instead of give to earn. I guess that's one reason why it's so much easier to meet God when we're at the end of our rope.

The lesson? Maybe "live like you're at the end of your rope?" How do I depend on God utterly, without neglecting my responsibility? Without being totally inactive, and never leaving my bed until God "gives me a word," how do I do only what I see the Father doing?

Right now, my answer is "live in the wisdom of accepted tenderness." Meditate on and receive God's unqualified love, throughout the day. When my heart starts racing, or my face stars burning because of a memory of something in the past, I will remember that God is not scolding me for it, and that my likeableness to him is 100% undiminished.

Only three minutes left and The Man's gonna kick me off this computer: so long...